Sleep Schmeep

I'm surprised that this is my first sleep related post, since, as every parent knows, sleep and poop instantly become the two most important things in your life the moment jr. is born...oh, and the baby, he's important too. I've already written about poop, so now I guess it's time for sleep.

Darling Daughter is 33 months old (I plan on stating her age in months until she's at least 216 months old), in non-mom terms, that's floating between 2.5 and 3 years old. She spent the first 10 months of her life sleeping only when latched on, and lying next to me. That's right folks, I could put her down for a 20 minute nap by herself, or I could lie with her and nurse her through a 3 hour nap. Needless to say, during that 10 months, I read a lot of e-books, I also watched all of Grey's Anatomy, Glee, 1/2 a season of Lost (really couldn't get that into Lost...why was that show so popular?...it was weird), the first season of Downton Abbey, and an untold number of movies on my phone. This was exhausting in a way that only a parent (or I suppose an invalid) can understand. To be lying in a bed essentially waiting to be allowed to get up while a bajillion things are screaming to be done in (and out of) the house wears a person down to a nub, only vaguely resembling the vibrant, sexy woman she used to be (or at least liked to imagine herself being).

When that nonsense came to a stop, we had pretty smooth sailing for about 5 months. During those months, I learned how to lie next to her, nursing, until she was out, then unlatch, turn into the blob, and slither out of the bed without disturbing her or the mattress in the slightest. It was a magical time. She was still co-sleeping at night, but didn't usually wake until 6:30 or 7 am, that was positively lovely for a family that typically hit the sack no later than 8:30 pm. No really...it was magical.

Then, as she transitioned herself from our bed to her own big girl bed (self-high-five!), we were again, sitting pretty, 1-2 decent naps a day, 10-12 hours of nighttime sleep, a few nursing sessions thrown in each night, but really, she was a rockstar! (Take that! Jerks who gave us crap for co-sleeping).

But, then, I made the biggest mistake any parent can make, I got cocky. I started to feel like I knew it all, like I had figured out this sleeping thing and all those other folks who's kids were night-terrors were just doing it wrong.

Darling Daughter was quick to correct my arrogance.

She started waking, daily, between 3:45 and 4:30 am. Yes, waking!! this wasn't, "I'm awake, but still tired and needing some cuddles before I'll crash for another 90 minutes." This was full fledged, bright eyed and bushy-tailed, middle of the GD night, but late enough for the day to begin, awake. I don't have much to say about this time, as it's mostly an agonizing blur of agony on which I prefer not to dwell due to the agony. All I will say is that it lasted about 6 months, 6 horrible months that I will never get back.

Now we're in a pretty good place. The kind of place where you absolutely cannot rock the boat (we learned this the hard way by trying to get her out of pullups at night...baaaaddd idea). I've learned to schedule her almost to the minute, and she now naps reliably, and sleeps at least 9-11 hours a night. We do have the occasional 5:30 am wake up, but it typically precedes a decent nap. Which leads me to my one complaint, naps.

Now, she goes down great, usually only sings/plays/chants/chats to herself for 30 minutes or so, then she's out. Great, but, I have absolutely no way of knowing when she will wake up. This makes it nearly impossible to employ the nap in any sort of profitable way. Sometimes she'll be up, perky and sparkling after just 90 minutes, other times I'm sitting staring at the monitor after 4+ hours, trying to see if she's still breathing. And isn't that just the catch? Either she's soundly sleeping and any disturbance would instantly wake her in the crankiest of states, or something has gone horribly awry, either way, if I walk into that room, my day is ruined. So instead of finally taking on the bathroom grout, or sewing all the cloth wipes I need to sew before Darling Daughter 2.0 arrives, I end up watching 6 episodes of Toddlers in Tiaras because I'd rather have to turn that off when she wakes up, than stow some huge, uncompleted, project.

I'm sure when she stops napping altogether, things will be much easier....n't

As a side sleep-note, if you don't have a video monitor on your child, get one! These things are awesome, and you learn a lot. Turns out, DD wasn't actually falling asleep at 7:15 every night, she was just lying quietly in bed playing with her stuffed orca, or picking her nose. This little stinker doesn't ever fall asleep before 8 or 8:30...and we're often out before her. The more you know!