Help

At two and a half, my daughter is deep in the throes of the terribles. I think the most difficult part of that, for us, is the complete and total lack of logic paired with a very strong sense of how things should be.

Let me illustrate what this looks like in our house. Today, she wanted to color, great! That meant she'd be entertained for a bit, and I might even get some form of precious, rainbow-hued, meaningless-to-anyone-but-me, keepsake out of it. I love when she colors. So I prepared to prepare her to color...it typically goes something like this...

"Sure you can color honey, do you want to sit at the big table or the coffee table?"

"I,I,I,I,I want to color at the coffebig table."

"The big table?"

"The coffee table."

"Ok, would you like plain paper or a coloring book?"

"I,I,I,I,I,I want a plaaaaiiinnn coloring book."

"A coloring book?"

"Yeah."

"Ok, would you like crayons or markers?"

(Let me just interject here, in case you're wondering why I'm making this such a long and drawn out process? Well, let me tell you friend, it's because I've learned my lesson, this child is not to be plunked down any-ole-place with some broken crayons and some junk mail, she has standards and will assert her right to precise coloring prep.)

"Uh,Uh,Uh,Uh......I..........................want.........................................................................markers."

"Okey dokey baby, here you go, let's get you all set."

At that point I gathered the requested materials, brought them to the chosen coloring station and began anticipating my moments of toddler-distraction, foolishly daydreaming about cutting potatoes and sauteing onions. This was, however, rather than a moment of bliss, a moment of complete and utter devastation.

NO She didn't want markers NO she didn't want ANYFING!!!! and markers went flying along with the coloring book.

(shit)

I found myself faced with one of the greatest parenting conundrums of all time, should I insist she clean up the markers and risk the wrath? Or should I reprimand and move on, only to clean up the markers myself during my precious post-bedtime lounge?

I opted for the former...and braced myself.

During this split second of decision making, she deteriorated into a most mucousy state requiring immediate collection and comfort, so I did that, she sat in my lap while I cooed and cuddled until the sniffles subsided and I began.

"Hey, do we throw things in our house?"

"No"

"Look over there, do you see where you threw your markers?"

"Yes"

"What's over there now?"

"A big big mess."

"Yes, and what do you need to do?"

(This is a gamble, her response is just as likely to be, "Nothing!" as it is to be anything else, but I'm feeling my oats here and take the chance)

"Clean it aaaalllll up."

(YES!!!!)

"That's right, can you go do that for me?"

"Yes mama."

(And the mother of the year award goes too..........)

"Maaaamaaaaaa....I neeed HELP!!!!!!!"

(shit)

"ok baby, I want you to get started while I start dinner, then I will come and help you."

"IIIIIIIIIINNNNNNEEEEEEDDDDDDHHHHHEEEEEELLLLLPPPPP!!!!! BWAHHHHHH"

(shitshitshit!!)

So the cliffs notes of this portion of the event are that she cried, screamed, and yelled about needing help while I frantically started dinner (which was already running 20 minutes behind) and kept reassuring her that I would most certainly help as soon as I could.

Finally, after about 2.5 minutes, I came to help.

"NO! I will do it myself!!"

"Do you want my help?"

"No!!"

"Ok" *getting up to go back to dinner*

"NOOOOOOO!!!!! I NEED HEEEEEELP!!!!"

(Take a minute and soak that in people....No, I don't want help, but don't leave, because I need help, but don't help)

This last 5 lines of dialogue repeated at least 3 times before I finally figured it out.

"Do you just want me to sit here while you do it yourself?"

"Yeah"

"Ok"

And peace prevailed.

Turns out, sometimes, just being there is help enough.




What's the best lesson you've ever learned from your little one?